Fluffy’s Plans For World Domination

There is an interesting and very important kitty holiday on the calendar for June 24. It’s Cat World Domination Day! This little event honors our feline overlords, and also gives us a heads up that these interesting little balls of curiosity and charm might be plotting something. In this article from a veterinarian, a local Dumbo, Brooklyn vet discusses Fluffy’s plans to take over the world.

What Is Cat World Domination Day?

Started in 2012 as a birthday present to the kitties of the sparklecat blog, Cat World Domination Day is a celebration of our feline overlords. Of course, it could very well be the date Fluffy chose to pursue World Domination.

Are Cats Truly Trying To Rule The Planet?

We really cannot respond to this one with any kind of proof. The last three persons who sought out information on the subject vanished under dubious circumstances and have never been seen again.

Should Cats Take Over The Planet, What Would Happen?

Our feline patients have clearly given us some insight into what to expect, we can offer a little more educated response on this one.

To the best of our knowledge, Fluffy’s official list of needs would consist of:

No More Mondays: In honor of Garfield, Mondays should be off-limits from the calendar. They would be replaced by a second Wednesday.

Fishponds Everywhere: Fluffy would also undoubtedly like to see stocked ponds and moats in front of every house. Actually, this one is not quite as far-fetched as you would assume. Cats were so prized in ancient China that several towns built stock fish ponds exclusively for them.

Food and Water Stations for Strays: One wonderful thing we would want to see is more help and resources for homeless kitties. Actually, there is already a good real-life example. For example, stray cats are almost considered shared pets in Turkey. Many companies leave food and drink out for them, and let the kitties in to curl up for a snooze. Fluffy is also living the simple life in Italy, where similar customs keep the nation’s cats fed and sheltered.

Art: You may most likely expect great feline sculptures rising in every town square. Fluffy may also commission massive murals of Her Furry Majesty.

Renaming Everything: Most streets and cities would likely be renamed after well-known feline celebrities. Of course, there really aren’t that many well-known feline celebrities.  What would probably happen would be that every town would end up with several Garfield drives, avenues, roads, parks, circles, courts, and lanes.

Feline Fun Gardens: Another architectural modification we most likely would see is the installation of catnip gardens. Fluffy also enjoys honeysuckle and Spider plants, so those would probably be included as well.

New Building Codes: Does your feline friend have a built-in pathway and catio in your house? Does Fluffy at least have one kitty tower and a bed and cozy window seat in every room? Have you at least one box castle and installed a kitty garden? If so, you won’t have to stress about implementing significant modifications. Otherwise, you may find yourself under obligation to make specific renovations.

Aside from that, you probably wouldn’t see too much change. Fluffy, after all, would spend the vast majority of her time sleeping.

Does Anyone Have Any Proof That Kitties Are Attempting a Global Takeover?

We have not yet come onto any real files or hard data, and Fluffy, of course, admits nothing. Still, there are some historical hints to take into account.

First, there is ancient Egypt. Fluffy persuaded the Egyptians to regard her as a deity. They even have an Egyptian cat goddess. Actually, kitties were so prized in ancient Egypt that her people would shave their eyebrows in grief when a family’s cat passed on. Another great illustration of how revered cats were in ancient society is the Sphinx.

Kitties didn’t fare badly in ancient Siam either. Fluffy was obviously totally pampered and the preferred pet of many royal and aristocratic households.

Cats have also made their impact in some less elegant forms. Medieval manuscripts and cement from ancient Roman buildings have revealed very obvious kitty pawprints!

We also might have to consider the fact Man’s Second Best Friend has been subtly preparing for this conquest for decades. Fluffy has definitely been working on honing her skills with her teeth and claws. Actually, kittens begin trying to scratch and bite practically right away. (Usually, they practice on us, but that’s another subject entirely.)

Kitties have not only been honing their martial skills: they are also concentrating on learning computer programming, which they do by walking across keyboards and sleeping on laptops. They also read, which they do by sleeping on books and absorbing the information via osmosis. Our feline friends have also ventured into several professions and learned about retail, politics, and spycraft.

Finally, we cannot overlook the fact that kitties are actually little serial killers. Every year, these adorable, naive-looking balls of fur murder billions of little creatures. This is just one more reason we always recommend keeping our feline friends indoors. Ask your Dumbo, Brooklyn veterinarian for advice on keeping your furry little friend safe.

What is the Treatise on Cats?

The Cat Treatise, sometimes known as the Tamra Meow or The Cat-Book of Poems, is among the best sources of proof for cat global dominion. This old samut khoi manuscript is thought to have been produced by Buddhist monks between the 14th and 18th centuries. As you can probably imagine, the book is totally about our adorable meowing companions.

How Might Cat World Domination Be Stopped?

There are some things we might be able to do to stop cats from taking over the world. First and foremost? Make sure your furball has been fixed. This can go a long way in fighting pet overpopulation, which is a root cause of many animal welfare issues. 

It’s also important to make sure that your own feline overlord is happy, healthy, and purring. Pay lots of attention to your furry friend. If you make a habit of regularly getting Fluffy some catnip or a new toy, and spend extra time with her, you may be able to dissuade her from her plans of world takeover. Treats can also help get that motor going. As long as you eliminate all the skin, bones, and fat, salmon, chicken, or fish would be fitting. Ask your vet for information on safe foods and treats.

Next on the list? Keep your cat safe and sound indoors, too. This will not only help foil Fluffy’s ambitions to rule the planet, but also greatly lower her chances of becoming lost, injured, or worse due to traffic, weather, predators, and parasites.

You may also have a bit of luck simply by helping kitties that are in need of homes. Consider making a donation to a rescue, shelter, or advocacy group. You just never know: this may soften your furry pal’s heart! You can also offer your feline ruler the occasional box to ply her.

Schedule A Visit At Your Dumbo, Brooklyn Veterinary Clinic

How long ago did your feline overlord last visit? Due for an exam is Fluffy? Get in touch with us, your neighborhood Dumbo, Brooklyn pet hospital, anytime!